Today I had to entertain some clients from Hong Kong who wanted to visit Williamsburg and see some of my work. So I thought a nice place would be Blackbird Parlour on north 6th and Bedford. Yes its that new hipster cafe but I figured if they wanted to see what this Burg shit was about why not take them there. So I walked in about 20 minutes early and decided to grab an iced tee and lsiten to some music. Right off the bat this douche bag barista, with bad blackwork tattoos, tells me that after I place my order that it is for “to go only” because I didn’t request table service and points to some sign about index card size. Ok you know what, fuck you bitch. You know this is your sad life of talking to H Boys as they come in to talk about their newest American Apparel shorts they bought to go-go in at Trash. So I just grab my tea, out my headphones on (I really didnt feel like listening to MGMT for the thousanth time), and wait for my clients and partner. As I sat in the window area I finally got why everyone wants to come to this place….
When you look out the window its alost like being at the Natural History Museum. You know those exhibits with the stuffed animals behind glass and the little minatures. But instead of Gazelles and the reenactment of Gettysburg you were watching hipster scum at its finest. I actually started to make a game of it. Like which bitch looks the most cracked out on bad speed and is going to her PR job, or which one of these guys is likely to carry more strains of Herpes than the CDC knows what to do with. Although my favorite had to be picking out the most ridiculous Fixie outfit combo. I think i will go with the guy that had the graphite frnt mag Pasta Boy bike with the spandex cut offs and the teeshirt that said “White Trash”. I need to find this guy and buy him a Snickers or some shit. Although I would imagine he wouldnt know what to do with it since it’s not imported.