OBAMA BUMAYE!!!

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What else can be said about such a historical day…. I really don’t know except he kicked that vampire’s ass hard. I mean it was sorta sad thinking on McCain and his trophy ex-stripper wife bringing up the first time they invited Palin over for a threesome thinking she would make a good candidate for VP. You know CIndy had to be like… “John, I know she blew you good but I don’t think she is gonna bang Putin, she told me she isn’t into foreigners”. But at least the White Oprah is going to be entertaining while we fix this country.

But on a serious note, finally a historic day when we as a people take our country back and spit in the face of the old world politics that put us in this 7 plus years of bullshit. We should all be very proud and use that pride for the next 4 years to work hard as a unified people to restore our country to what we envision it to be…yes we can…

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Bodegas… now for white people too…

Growing up in NYC the bodega was the staple. it’s where you got your first pack of Parliament Lights, the first place you bought a 40 of OE, and probably the first place you scored dirty Dominican Coke with enough baby laxative to feel like you’ve been drinking Mexican water for a week. But now with the advent of more and more white folk moving into Bed Stuy and such areas these Bodega owners have had to step up their game. You can pretty much walk into anyone of them and grab some Fiji water, a Cliff bar, some Altoids and pop over to your next new media meeting. But I miss the good old days. The days of videogame machines with busted joysticks in the back, when you could five finger discount shit loads of Swedish fish, and make an entire meal consisting of quarter waters, Bravos, and some Now & Laters. And now these owners have to stock their shelves with gringo ass merch. Bad enough they have to learn how to speak English… now we are gonna tell them to carry organic produce… man this country is fucked up…

Pop Up Stores… ready to Pop The Fuck Off!!!

The notion of a pop up store is something that sounds like an intriguing concept. Rent a small space, have a basic concept and then POP THE FUCK OFF. But I think this new retail micro-concept is getting a little too out of control. You know when Target is getting into it it’s way too much. I am all for indie brands doing this, I think it’s a great way to bring a little excitement about a brand. But at the same time it does seem like too much of a creative push into consumerism with no smash. Let’s see if we as a design community can actually come up with a new concept for temporary retail inception. Why not a prison store… that seems like a novel idea…

Castro Brothers… a new threat?

The Vice Presidental debate was on last night and it was kinda boring. I was really hoping Biden was gonna pimp slap Palin’s inbred face half way through, but that doesn’t happen on national TV. Through all the talk of taxes, McCain being a good soldier (note: good soldiers don’t get caught and spend years in a war prison), the war in Iragistanalandia, etc the one thing that came out of Palin’s thin lipped mouth that was genius was her talking about how the Casto Brothers were the next big threat… Really? These two dudes pictured above? Man these guys can’t do shit. Like what are they gonna do? Send us more Cuban pitchers to the MLB that suck? Invade Florida with an army, which I wish they would because Florida caused this country 8 years of bullshit. I just don’t see these guys as a threat. Although I do like the concept of the Castro Brothers. It sounds like some gang from the Bronx dealing Yeyo and smacking the fuck out of HOs. Can you just picture Fidel in and Escalade rolling down Arthur Ave? I want to see these two dudes in the next GTA.

Fatwa in the hizzy!!!

I always thought the Fatwa was scary but kinda funny. Like pissing off an entire religion and then they are gonna fuck you up. But you know these dudes just love throwing the F bomb around as this article shows. I mean c’mon the dude sees this dirty milf slut from Alaska since he has been looking at covered up women his entire life… of course he is gonna hit on her. Wouldn’t you? He basicly just got out of a 25 year prison bid and this is the first piece of ass he sees. It’s not like he invited her to an all Pakistani gangbang, He just said he’d like to hug her… hug the shit out of her. So Pakistan, cut this guy some slack… you know you guys beat off to Talbot’s catalog’s when your wives aren’t looking.

Not just pussies but bad rip off artists…

These fixie pussies just give me more reasons to call them out for being pussies…

This past year Lakai put out one of the best skateboard videos ever. Besides killer parts from Koston, Mike Mo, Marc Johnston, and others the video is a true work of cinematography excellence as evidenced below…

Now this is where the fixie pussies piss me off. Not only do they try to relate their artificially created subculture to skateboarding but they try to rip it off in the most lame way ever… Witness below.

Wolfpack All City Team Race 2 TEASER from Bicykiller on Vimeo.

Yo fixie pussies… step the fuck off. Then again this is another example of their lack or originality and pathetic emoness to try and be down.

On a side note… big ups to the pussy I saw at Spuyten Duvel at the Govna’s Birthday with the fixie tattoo on his neck… you are branded for life as being pussy and I love you for it. I can’t wait for scooters to be the new hipster thing and you have to get your fixie tattoo covered with a scooter so you can try to get your photo in Vice Magazine.

Getting the Smackdown from McDonalds…

I really am not into McDonalds. Its pretty crappy all around. I really only hit up like 2-3 different fast food places once every 8 weeks or so… But today my girl wanted some McDonalds so I thought why the fuck not. Now if you have ever been to a McDonalds in the ghetto, where we live, people there are pretty much useless. I dont think they could even get into the Army as firing practice targets.. they would fuck that up too.

So I go to the one by Fulton Mall, ah yes the mecca of ghetto fabulousness, to pick up some food. Now this place is huge, like 10 registers, probably 20 employees, etc. Now it being a Sunday afternoon it was pretty packed, everyone just got done buying their Fubu and Akademics hoodies for next winter or knock off grillz, and the lines were 8 people deep. I am on line with my bike (not a fixie fucktard) and I finally get to the front and am ready to get my order and get the fuck out. All of a sudden this big ass fat bitch comes out of the corner behind the register with her stupid manager tag on and asks to speak to me. I figured it was because I might have been the tenth white customer they had and I won a free shake or something. No, no shake, instead she tells me how I cant have my bike in there and wont serve me. She goes on and on for 5 minutes who the store gets a ticket and fine if the McDonalds inspector comes and sees me. Are you fucking kidding me. I wait on line for a while, get to the front and she wont take my order because some McDonalds inspector is gonna come to Flatbush Avenue to fine her for my bike. I really wanted to throw a shake at her but guess what… I coudln’t get shit from her fat ass or any of the fat ass bitches there. So I just cursed her out and left and went to the next McDoanlds 4 blocks away. I walk in with my bike and guess what they say… “No Such Policy Exists”. and there is not McDonalds Inspector.. interesting… so Miss Fatty Cakes thinks the McDOnalds inspector exists… I think I should go in next week and tell her her shoe laces are untied and see if she flops over like Grimace on NoDoz.